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and Childbirth FAQ
Pregnancy
and Childbirth FAQ
By Sabrina
Cuddy and Cyberia Shrink
Contents
I
am a 38 yr. old, recently married woman.
My husband and I have been having unprotected
sex for the past year and one half in
hopes of conceiving a child. To date,
we have not been successful in conceiving.
My OB/GYN tells me to wait to become
pregnant because I am overweight. Well,
that was in March of this year and I
have since lost 90 lbs. We are still
not using any form of birth control.
My
questions are:
How old is "too old" to conceive?
How do I handle my period coming every month?
Every month it seems like my period is a
little late and I build my hopes up and when
I do get my period it feels like what I believe
the emotions of someone who has lost a child
feels. It's an emotional roller coaster for
me and it hurts deeply. We are on a budget
and cannot afford adoption, invitro or any
other costs as far as other methods of having
a child. I guess I would just like some emotional
support. Thank you.
Sabrina
answers:
You
are too old to conceive when you go through
menopause! I have heard of women in their
50s getting pregnant! I see women in
their late 30s and early 40s regularly
in my classes - they have healthy babies
and often natural childbirth too. Frankly,
if I were in your position, I would look
for a doctor or midwife who is not biased
against women of substance! There is
not much to support the claim that you
will take longer to conceive just because
you are overweight! That kind of doctor
is also likely to treat you as high risk
just because of weight (and probably
age too), possibly subjecting you to
extra tests and perhaps even going as
far as inducing labor early to keep the
baby from getting too big! I have personally
seen a woman induced for no other reason
than her own weight being high - and
she had a tiny baby that really wasn't
ready! I guess there is a fear that an
overweight mom is also a mom with gestational
diabetes, but let's treat disease, not
assumed disease! Look for a practitioner
who will assume you are healthy until
tests prove otherwise. After a year and
a half of trying, most MDs will begin
to do the basic infertility work-ups
so if you are interested in finding out
if there are problems, get another doctor...
About
the periods, I think the best way to
handle the disappointment each month
is having a support group. There is a
newsgroup, alt.infertility that you could
read, but probably the best thing to
do is read for a short time (so others'
stories don't depress you!) and make
a few friends - then be pen-pals to help
each other through. One of my past students
was in a group of 4 pen-pals who happened
to all live near enough that they could
meet occasionally. It helped a lot for
each to hear what the others were going
through! One by one, they all went through
treatments and finally got pregnant!
Then they could support each other through
pregnancy as well.
Take
care, and good luck! Send me email if
you want: swnymph@fensende.com
I
had regular periods before I started
the pill 2 years ago. I went off the
pill in April and didn't have a period
from April until August. I've now missed
again (September) and gone through
5 negative pregnancy tests. Any suggestions?
Should I be concerned (were are trying
to conceive)? Is this normal when going
off the pill?
Sabrina
answers:
This
is a hard one. Different women react
differently to the pill. It partly depends
on which pill and what dosage you were
on. Assuming that you were on a combination
pill (estrogen and progesterone), what
it does is make your body think you are
pregnant so that you don't ovulate. For
some women, the body acts like you have
miscarried and you ovulate right away
when you stop taking it. For others,
the body acts as though you have just
had a baby and your periods are suppressed
for a while. You sound like the second
person. There are other things that can
cause you to miss periods, so I would
talk to your doctor and perhaps have
a check-up. I don't want to try to tell
you what's wrong with so little detail,
and besides, I'm not qualified! If you
don't have anything physically wrong,
then you probably just need more time
to adjust before your periods get regular
again... Then on to the conception!
Good Luck!
My
husband and I have been trying to get
pregnant and I know I am being neurotic.
My menstrual cycles have been weird
for the last 5 months and I have had
a history of ovarian cysts. My doctor
promises me that I am perfectly healthy
but I can't stop thinking about getting
pregnant. Question 1: Are there early
signs of pregnancy that I can be looking
for? Question 2: Will home pregnancy
tests work BEFORE the first day of
your missed period? Since I am unsure
of when that is, it is difficult for
me to know when to take one.
Sabrina
answers:
Don't
be so hard on yourself! Most women who
are trying to get pregnant think about
it all the time! The early signs of pregnancy
are very similar to the sings of PMS
I'm afraid - and knowing them seems to
make women feel them, pregnant or not.
When you want so badly to be pregnant,
it is easy to think every little twinge
is a sign of pregnancy - that sure happened
to me! I have written a FAQ (frequently
asked questions file) for misc.kids.pregnancy
called "General Pregnancy".
Part 1 of that FAQ has a compilation
of many women's early pregnancy symptoms.
You can find the FAQ at http://www.fensende.com/Users/swnymph/Preg1.html.
Home
pregnancy tests detect a hormone called
HCG. It has to be present in a high enough
concentration for the test to detect
it, and that happens for most people
around the 14th day after conception,
or about the time your period is due.
A blood test can detect lower levels
of HCG, so it can be done much sooner.
It is a little hard when your periods
are irregular to tell when your next
one is due - generally the variable is
how long it takes from the time of your
period until you ovulate. The time from
ovulation to the next period is very
stable at around 14 days. You might benefit
from charting your basal body temperature
for a few months to get an idea of when
you are ovulating!
Good
Luck, and keep trying!
I
would like to know what are the causes
for late menstruation besides strees.
I am late for about 5 days and I am
worried. There is no chance of me being
pregnant but I fear a genital infection
or something like that. I have traveled
to South America this month and changed
my diet and was under stress, could
it be this?
Cyberia
answers:
Such
absence of menstruation is called amenorrhea.
It may result from a number medical conditions
(anorexia nervosa, congenital defects
of reproductive system, cysts/tumors,
etc.). However, there are various other
causes: pregnancy, hormonal imbalance,
stress, emotional distress, extreme fat
reduction due to serious exercise or
weight loss, or drastic change of environment
(travelling). If amenorrhea occurs regularly,
medical consultation is strongly advised.
Occasional amenorrhea might also need
medical attention, depending on the cause
and duration.
In
your case, the reason is most likely
the stress and travel. I wouldn't worry
about it too much, but if it persists
for another week or two, you should see
a gynecologist.
Is
it possible to predict the sex of your
baby by knowing when you conceived
or any other method ?
Sabrina
answers:
Well,
there is a FAQ available on the WWW on
"Choosing your baby's sex" at http://www.childbirth.org/articles/faqs.html -
it talks about several ways that you can
improve your odds in advance. Using the same
basic ideas, you can improve your guess as
to what sex your baby is once it has been
conceived.
The
idea is that male sperm swim faster,
while female sperm live longer. That
means that if you have sex before you
ovulate, you are more likely to have
a girl, and if you have sex after you
ovulate, you are more likely to have
a boy. There is a book out called "how
to choose the sex of your baby" by
Shettles and Rorvik, 1984. There are
several suggestions in the book that
supposedly increase your odds of picking
what sex your baby will be from 50% to
80%. Let's assume that you didn't try
these before you got pregnant, since
you are asking about post-conception
guessing.
So,
if you had sex 3 days before you ovulated,
you are more likely to have a girl. If
it was 2 days before, then you have about
a 50-50 chance of boy or girl, and if
it was less than 2 days up to 48 hours
after you ovulated, then you are more
likely to have a boy.
There
is another FAQ at that same WWW site
that covers the pros and cons of finding
out the baby's sex before the birth.
Do
you have any suggestions on how to
reduce swollen ankles during menstruation?
Sabrina
answers:
Well,
my specialty is pregnancy, but I will
answer this question the same way I would
answer a pregnant woman... I would say
that you should cut out caffeine, increase
fluid intake, and eat some calcium, and
magnesium.
Try
getting into water, too - in order of
preference, a pool, hot tub, or bathtub.
Total body immersion will squeeze the
excess fluid out of your legs and back
into your circulatory system - don't
be surprised if you have to run to the
bathroom after 20-30 minutes!
If
you can, stay off your feet as much as
possible, and elevate your legs while
sitting. Try not to sit for long periods
of time without a stretch.
Sabrina
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